(362) The Penis

Midnight All Day

• 作者: Hanif Kureishi
• 出版社/メーカー: Faber and Faber
• 発売日: 1999/11/01
• メディア: ペーパーバック

The Penis
タイトルを見て、この最後の話を先に読むことにした。
Alfie was having breakfast with his wife at the kitchen table.
He was a cutter ― a hairdresser ― and had to get to work.
"Did you have a good time last night?" his wife asked.
"I think so," he said.
"Where did you go?"
"Don't you know?"
"I can remember the early part of the evening. We all met in the pub. Then there was a club and a lot of people . Later there was a porn film."
彼らは、一年前に結婚式を挙げた新婚さんのとの設定。

He would examine his wallet and see how much money he had spent, whether he had any cocaine left, or if he had collected phone numbers, business cards or taxi receipts that night jog his memory.
He was fumbling in his inside pocket when he found something strange.
He pulled it out.
"What's that?" his wife said. She came closer. "It's a penis," she said. "You've come home with a man's penis ― in you pocket. Where did you get it?"
"I don't know," he said.
"You better tell me," she said.
なんか、すごい話！　夢の話みたい・・・
jog:（記憶）を呼び起こす

He didn't want the 'thing' in his pocket one more second.
･･･
Making sure no one was watching, he tossed the penis over the side of the  bridge and watched it fall.

1マイルも離れてないところの、Doug(ダッグ）という俳優がベッドから抜け出すという場面に変わる。
Doug had intended to spend the day in the gym. After he would get his hair and nails done, before retiring early to bed with scrip.
 It wasn't until he passed the mirror on the wall to the shower, and looked at himself for the first time that day, that he realised his penis was missing. The whole thing had gone, penis, scrotum, even his pubic hair.
つまり、Alfieのポケットに入っていたPenisはポルノ男優のDougのものだったのだ。
get nail done 《get one's nails done》爪の手入れ［ネイルケア］をしてもらう
retire to bed：床につく
scrotum[skro'utəm]:《医》陰嚢

Pornography had penetrated the middlebrow market and he, coupled with Long Dong - the professional moniker he had given his penis - was becoming a recognisable star.
自分のpenisにLong Dongというあだ名をつけている。
middlebrow:中程度の教養のある
moniker:俗〉名前、呼称、あだ名


Thinking fast now, Doug conjectured whether, late at night, he had taken Long Dong out somewhere and slapped it down on a table.

自分のPenisをさがして、昨夜行ったbarやclubへ行ってみた。
Some one had left behind a shoe, a shotgun, a pair of false eyelashes and a map of China. No penis had been handed in.
false eyelashes:つけまつげ

そこで、自分のpenisを目撃する。
 Bewildered, he was standing outside on the street when, across the road, he saw his penis coming out of a coffee shop accompanied by a couple of young women. The penis, tall erect and wearing dark glasses and fine black jacket, was smiling. ちょうど、タクシーに乗り込もうとしているときに、声をかけたが、女とともに、タクシーで逃げ始めた。

つい、タフマンを思い出してしまう。ごめんなさい。

Doug hailed another taxi and told the driver to follow the first one. In front  he could see the top of his penis. The girls were kissing him and he was laughing and talking excitedly.
 The traffic was bad and they lost sight of the cab ahead.
Long  Dongの乗ったタクシーを見失ってしまう。


道沿いの、あるバーでLong Dong を見つけた。しかし、声をかけると、再び、逃げ出し、姿を消した。
そして、あまり流行らないバーで、偶然AlfieとDougは出会う。
"I recognize you from somewhere," said Doug.
"Yes, yes," said Alfie. "Maybe. I have the feeling we were together last night."
"What were we doing"
"Who knows? Listen―"
Dougのpenisが、どうしてAlfieのポケットへ入り込んだかはわからずじまい。

夕方に、再びpenisを見つける。
"I've had enough of your nonsense," said the penis.
"Without me, you're nothing," said Doug.
"Ha! It's the other way round! I'v realised the truth."
"What truth?"
"You are a penis with a man attached. I want out."
the other way round:逆


口論の後、疲れていたpenisは、beginning to shrink back into himself.
Dougはpenisをポケットにしまいこみ、整形外科医に、もとのように縫合するようたのむ。
"Bring me the money tonight," ordered the surgeon, "otherwise it will be too late ― your penis will become used to its freedom and will never serve you again."

Dougは手術代を、映画のプロデューサーから、高利子で借りて、手術を決意する。
He was, that night, entertaining a few hookers in his suite. The women knew Doug and soon made him aware that news of his misfortune had got round. He blushed and smarted now when hte women called him "big boy".
smart:精神的苦痛を受ける、ひどく感情を害する

Perhaps he had been mercifully untied from an idiot and they could go their separate ways. But without his penis how could he earn his living? He was too old to start a new career.

手術は無事終わり、He and his love were rejoined.
最後は、
 Doug was glad to be reunited with the most important part of himself; but, when he thought of the numerous exertions ahead, he felt weary.
exertion:〔肉体的な〕骨折り［大変な］仕事
weary:〔精神的に〕疲れた、うんざり［飽き飽き］した
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